I Don't Care What Universe You're From, That's Gotta Hurt

Hey everyone, This email is going to be a bit longer. I got concussed this week, and I’m going to go into all the details. This week started off with a bang when I was getting ready Saturday morning, and all of a sudden, I passed out. The last thing I remember was tying my tie, and the next thing I knew, I was waking up on the ground with a massive headache that turned out to be a concussion. My companion, Elder Kuzmic, and my other two roommates helped me up and gave me a priesthood blessing before Elder Kuzmic helped me over to the information desk so they could call a car to take me to the hospital. They did all kinds of tests, including but not limited to: an interrogation to test my brain function, a CAT scan to see how badly I was concussed, a heart monitor test with wires all over my body, a light sensitivity test, "gently" poking and prodding at the impact site on my head, and a quick blood test. I’m halfway convinced they turned me into the Green Goblin, and I now...